Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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