i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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