if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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