he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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