I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
