i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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