i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize