I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
