i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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