So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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