My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
