omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
