$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
