i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
