There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
where am i from again
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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