I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
