This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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