He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think my moral compass just broke
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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