So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
