The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
