I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize