Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
