So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize