I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
