the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
