He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
