I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
one two three fourrrrnication!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
