They should really pass out barf bags in church
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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