I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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