My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I will pee on everything he values.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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