If that was your dad, he is hot
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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