They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
