your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
