i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Life is so much better after having sex.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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