WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
