VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
