Just fell off a train. Bad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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