Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
my liver is dry heaving
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
