Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
