those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
