hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize