we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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