he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
