take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
