piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Come on in and take your pants off
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