don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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