Only a mothe r could love this liver
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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