Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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