I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
