didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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