Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
im holly from the hills drunk
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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