I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
