I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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