Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
