he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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