I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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