She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
