i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
