I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
