also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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