You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
