im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
