I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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