I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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