he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
