Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize