This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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