just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
