Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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