i think my tv is drunk
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
