So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
